(Current) Status: Acquaintance
Comments: Arjen is a trained giraffe spotter from Wyoming who is actually Dutch because they've claimed Wyoming, the bastards. Studying these fearsome beasts in captivity, he knows all there is to know except what they eat, how they reproduce, where they naturally live and how exactly a giraffeherd operates socially. Still, he works hard.
Nick: Chiel
(Current) Status: Acquaintance
Comments: Chiel is simply pissed off by music. His taste is silence.
(Current) Status: Lotus Member
Comments: You can easily guess from his ominous scowl that Damien is a top whore at Interpol, where he gives service to some of the most powerful and dangerous men of the planet. Or of Europe. Or of those residing within the building. Or the 44th floor. I can't recall which, but it's a job that requires an iron jaw.
Nick: Erafiel
(Current) Status: Lotus Member
Comments: There are only five known species of Erafiel on this rock called Earth, with four of them tied up in an underground reactor where they power various major American cities. The fifth one is roaming free in Utopia causing a general bother. It's only a matter of time before this specimen is powering Stockholm though.
Nick: Freshduck
(Current) Status: Acquaintance
PICTURE IS CLICKABLE
Comments: Freshduck is the original writer of the "burn baby burn, disco inferno..." lyrics. He didn't actually meant it to be a hit record, he just had a vendetta with discoes. Out of this burning (hah!) hatred for these kind of entertainment buildings grew a man whose spite spread into and affected different areas of life, from discussions about politics to obtaining dates with elementary schoolteachers in said kind of entertainment buildings.
Nick: Frozt
(Current) Status: Acquaintance
PICTURE IS CLICKABLE
Comments: Frozt is an ancient of war, fighting pitched battles with other Utopians when we were still afraid to play attacker and felt secure in our "superthief" provinces. He has an appetite for old german males and mystical auras.
(Current) Status: Acquaintance
PICTURE IS CLICKABLE
Comments: Funky is.... The Discussionist. He fears no arguments. He fears no retorts. He fears no ad hominem tactics. He uses word, expression and the calculated kick in the balls to wriggle his way out of any kind of debate. He needs no plan B. He is.... The Discussionist.
Nick: Jcash/Billy
(Current) Status:Ex-FREE Member
PICTURE IS CLICKABLE
Comments: Billy here grew up in the forest. He could talk to deer and rabbits and other kinds of potential food. He knew which plants were edible and which made you shit continuously for a day and a half. He didn't know about motorcycles, especially not the ones used on dirt tracks. Who needs muddy motor mayhem when you have the ability to talk a deer onto your plate?
Nick: Jenny
(Current) Status: Acquaintance
Comments: Yenny wishes she was called Ynny so she could claim Palindromeda as her home star system. Eternally disappointed with the loss of this avenue she resolved to live her life day to day, having her picture taken on skewed walls and making a general mess of Vancouver island.
Nick: Rapes
(Current) Status: Acquaintance
Comments: Rapes acquired his nickname after an unfortunate incident in the nursing home he worked at which won't be explored in detail. In his day to day life he likes to grow indigo plants in his greenhouse which extracts he, you may have guessed, rubs on his body in recognizable patterns. His left foot is on backwards.
Nick: Shaveman/Ankh
(Current) Status: Ex-FREE Member
PICTURE IS CLICKABLE
Comments: WTF is wrong with this dude? Just click his picture. I may have been disturbed by many, many people on these pages but AnkhMorporkAndy here is a class all by himself in the Disturbology course. His disturbiness is of a special New Zealander breed and few are able to withstand it. Natural immunes have not yet been found.
Nick: Stix's sister
(Current) Status: Acquaintance
Comments:
For starters, say this really fast ten times: stixsis stixsis stixsis
Ok. Now that I have killed you, I won't need to bother finishing writing
this comment. Yaaaarrr :D
(Current) Status: Acquaintance
Comments: Referred to by his dad as Stoph, the errand boy Stoffe has lived in his dad's shadow for most of his life. Running around on the scandinavian peninsula, between capitals and major towns, between fisher villages and Fjeld campsites, ol' Stoph is a veteran traveller and an asset for any national public transport agency with fatherly figures leading them.
Nick: Tedrick
(Current) Status: Ex-FREE Member
Comments by Ye Olde Man: Tedrickus has battled mightily the hordes of Petruscan Snoods nigh these many years, only emerging resoundingly victorious when he discovered they were a tasty garnish on pasta. While dwelling within the sewers of Manila he learned the vicious tactics of both the piranha and crocodiles he encountered there as well as an entertaining funk that serves to demoralize his enemies in hand-to-hand combat.
Nick: ZhuEl(la)
(Current) Status: Ex-FREE Member
Comments: Mr Z. here (he likes to be called that) has after his violent career as a human cannonball taken up residence in an inconspicuous Puerto Rican community in southern France. His preoccupation with balls never faltered as he was an avid supporter of the French soccerteam during the World Cup of '06 and he likes to bring out the roundness of his testicles by blowtorching every hair that sprouts out of them.
(Current) Status: FREE Member
PICTURE IS CLICKABLE
Comments: This Moldovan is ex-KGB, and the son Mikhail Gorbachev denies he ever had. He spies on renegade fashion models and owns five yaks. He milks these every week and then goes down to the sperm back to see if they'll accept it. If they don't, he uses the milk to drown mice in.
Nick: Abhorsen
(Current) Status: Ex-FREE Member
Comments: Life is tough for a British extra-terrestial, especially when picking pants. Or trying to fit your oversized Alpha Centaurian tongue in your mouth. Or trying to get a British-AlphaCentaurian passport. Or trying to buy a coke with Asian flesh, the currency of Alpha Centauri.
Nick: Abhorsen's hot girlfriend
(Current) Status: Abhorsen's hot girlfriend
Comments: Here's the reason why Abhorsen gave up interstellar life. What is it about the art of antbreeding that attracts cosmic men? I heard she tried preparing fermented condor first but apparently only the dudes from around Orion dig that shit.
(Current) Status: Acquaintance
Comments: Darcie is Cello's sister-and-a-half. You can't see it here but she actually has a kind of humanoid lump protruding from her backside. The lump contains a working throat, ass and nipple. Occasionally Darcie entertains herself by trying to sync-fart both her asses. She was "orphaned" after Cello's parents lovingly left her at the local MacDonalds, where incidentally she was conceived as well. Don't have kids when you eat Big Macs a lot. Or something.
Nick: Dark's hot sister
(Current) Status: Dark's hot sister
Comments: Pale, frightening, salty, acoustic, splendid, Structuralist, married, tempestuous, flatulent - all words on how not to describe darque's hot sister. Hot is probably the only fitting adjective. She raises peas in New Zealand, by the way. Several are called Geert, supposedly referring to his brainsize and power.